reassembling my army

natalie // 17 // i'm just trying to make it out alive

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I’m just not that into you.

I saw you, today was our first day back and I saw you. You haven’t dropped that class yet so we still have it together. I thought you’d drop it, I thought you did, I was surprised to see you. When I saw you again for the first time since June, it felt different. I didn’t get butterflies, I didn’t dodge my head this way and that trying to get a good look at you. I saw you, I acknowledged you and I moved on with my day. She even nudged me when you and I made eye contact but I didn’t blush or get all giggly. I didn’t nudge her back or get that goofy smile I always used to get around you or whenever she brought you up. I didn’t trip over my words or even feel the need to talk to you, I just nodded and moved on. Honestly, I wasn’t really concerned for you. You were just an asshole, too self absorbed to know that I was crazy for you. You tore me apart and didn’t even know. It’s okay though, really, because I can say I’m over you. This summer I changed a lot. I’m not the same girl I was three months ago. And when I decided to change, the change didn’t include you. You rarely cross my mind and when you do it’s because someone else brought you up, you’re just another face in the yearbook to me, finally. And you don’t have my heart on your sleeve, thank God. Maybe now, I can finally find someone else to take care of it. I’m over you, dear. 

Damn, that feels good to say. 

5 notes · #just not that into you #heartbroken #heart #smile #i saw you #asshole #change #summer #heart on my sleeve #move on #personal #buterflies #first day of school #happy #free #musa